Terrible Puns 1

I got this idea from Richard the Poltmeister over at Writing Ball. Now these puns aren't about typewriters, but they are pretty gosh darn bad. Woooooooooooo!





What cut the Roman Empire in half? A pair of Caesars!

What's a fake noodle? An impasta!

What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but then I got over it.

What do you call a crocodile that works for the police department? An investigator.

thanks for reading guys!

Stay Classy and Merry Christmas,

-Will

Photographs!

Hey! I decided to upload some pictures because I could, and that I would be making my first typecast! (crowd lets out terrific roar). It will be short but sweet and is down below. I don't have much to talk about, but it doesn't matter. HURRAH! Sorry for the bad quality, but it should be legible. Remember, it only my first of many typecasts! Look at that organized desk! And that Mercedes Superba in desperate need of repair! My Underwood No.5 posing with Cary Grant!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND STAY CLASSY,

-Will

Tragedy

Well, this is upsetting. If you don't know, there has been a shooting in a school in Connecticut with an apparent psycho murdering 27 adults and 18 students. On an ironic note, my class watched IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, a timeless classic. I say it's ironic because the ultimate point of the film is that to say no life is a waste, through the life of George Bailey. It is one of my favorite movies, landing in at number two on my list. As for my life in typewriters, let's just say it's really slow. I have been throwing my eyes upon my new want: 1949 Empire Aristocrat. I know basically nothing about it, but I saw a video by Dr. Typewriter about it, and I have been looking for one since. I'm watching a 1980's Peanuts short. Those are never as good as the originals, with too many bad puns and snobby voices. I plan on watching the Lord Of The Rings series and then going to see The Hobbit sometime soon. I saw SKYFALL for the second time again last night. I guess you can tell by my short, choppy sentences that I don't have much to talk about. I guess I'll sign off now.

Stay Classy,

-Will